Illegal Drugs in Middle Earth
by Matrixchick
Summary: Hello people! I've re-done Chapters 6 and 7 'cause frankly i thought they stunk. so i've fixed 'em and read on. Tallyho!! I've also changed chapter titles.
1. Lord of the Rings

Sup this is my second story in two days! Dude I'm good. My other one isn't LOTR but that's okey dokey (yeah I'm a little on the sugary side) Okay in this story everything is owned by Tolken or whoever except the Drug Dealer, the pot, and Mr. Apple. They are mine. Another thing I've never smoked pot and I've got no intentions too so the details will be off, hell I think I've made everything up so don't flame me saying stuff about my lack of knowledge on pot. Okay if someone would like to inform of correct side affects of this drug I would appreciate it. You can e-mail me a Rubberpens@aol.com but only if you want to. This is purely fiction and * sniff * I don't own Orlando Bloom (this has nothing to do with the story except I randomly say this.) * sob * r&r * sniff *   
  
Illegal Drugs in Middle Earth  
  
Chapter one  
Pot meet Pippin, Pippin meet pot  
  
  
"What a lovely evening!" Pippin Took said as he walked down the silent streets of Hobbitown. It was almost dusk so most Hobbits were at home or at the tavern, Pippin was on his way to the tavern when. . .. .   
  
"Pssst, hey buddie." A voice whispered from the shadows of two wagons.  
  
Pippin looked around, there was nobody else near by. Pippin pointed to himself "Me?" he asked the voice.  
  
The voice sighed "Do you see anyone else?" it asked. Pippin looked around again. The voices sighed in exhaseration "Yeah I am talking to you. Come here. Hurry up I haven't go all night." The voice said.  
  
Pippin shrugged and followed the voice in between the carriages. It was a man (not a hobbit, a man). He was dressed in black and you couldn't see his face properly because of the shadows. "Yeah?" Pippin asked.  
  
"Ya wanna joint?" The guy asked holding out the long white cigarette thing.   
  
"What is a joint?" The nieve hobbit asked with curiosity.  
  
If this was animi the drug dealer would have a sweat drop but its not so he didn't. "Noun, slang for a marijuana cigarette. Definition is courtesy of Webster's dictionary (yeah that's were a got the definition)."  
  
"Sure why not." Pippin said. "How much?"  
  
"Well for you my friend, a deal. Only. . . "The man looked around dramatically. "C'mere it's a secret." Pippin leaned in closer and the man whispered a number in his little pointy hobbit ear.   
  
"Alright." Pippin said as he handed the money over. The man in return gave Pippin a little zip lock bag of joints (yes I know they didn't have Zip lock bags, trust me its relevant later on).  
  
"Have fun." The man said before laughing and disappearing (you know there one minute gone the next deal).  
  
"Cool." Pippin took out one of the joints, lit it and inhaled. Suddenly the ground seemed to move around but instantly settled. Pippin felt a weird tingly feeling in his head, but he liked it. Within minutes the joint was gone and Pippin was on his way to being stoned.  
  
  
  
Next chapter PIPPIN GETS HIGH   
  
Okay people I have to say this, I am NOT encouraging any one to smoke or do drugs this is only a story and I'm enjoying writing it. So r&r and flames are welcome. 


	2. MIIB

^Hi ''I'm back and I'm a bloody animal!'' ~~~That is from Buffy the Vampire slayer and My favorite vampire SPIKE. I swear he and Orlando Bloom and the hottest people in the world. Okay back to my story. In this chapter there is more drug use and I'm gonna repeat my self again and again but I grew up with this and I'm gonna share this if it kills me. . . I'M NOT ENCORAGING ANYONE TO USE DRUGS. I myself never knew anyone but both of my parents are in the medical profession and I hear this all of the time. (I'm also putting this in incase one of my parents reads this and thinks I'm smoking or some kind of that crap.) I'm trying to make this funny but I don't think its going very well. Well r&r and flames are welcome but if they are really mean I'm gonna print them out and bring them to school and my group of friends will laugh at them so just a warning.   
LUV ALL WHO REVIEW!!! Oh and Joe is mine, everything else is Tolken (except what I listed in the first chapter)^  
  
  
  
Pippin was very mellow by his third joint. He slowly made his way into the tavern moving with grace and perfection he always lacked.   
  
"Pippin! My dear Pippin you're late. Come one have a pint with me come and dance!" Merry said coming up behind his cousin.   
  
"Oh hello Merry." Suddenly Pippin giggled and pointed to two hobbits who were trying to dance and were unsuccessful. "They look funny." He giggled some more.  
  
"Pippin? Are you all right? You look tired." Merry said looking at his cousin's bloodshot eyes.  
  
"Yes Merry I'm fine." Pippin looked at Merry and giggled.   
  
"You're funny looking!" Pippin began to giggle uncontrollably.  
  
"Pippin what is wrong with you? Have you had any pints? If so how many?" Merry said in disgust with his younger Took cousin.  
  
"None." Pippin said placidly.  
  
"None, you've had nothing to drink what-so-ever?" Merry asked in disbelief.  
  
"Yup" Pippin replied and he walked over to the bar. A hobbit was there. It was not just any old hobbit; it was a hobbit that Pippin had many fights with. His name was Joe.  
  
"So Pippin. You dared show your face after the beating I gave you last week, hmm wants some more?" Joe asked sneering at the stoned hobbit. Pippin took one look at Joe's face and began to laugh hysterically. "What is so funny? What?" Joe asked getting pissed (pardon moi French) off.  
  
"You face!! It looks like a tomato!!" Pippin aid laughing some more and the more he laughed the more pissed off Joe got.  
  
"You *&^%$^&*%$ (like how I avoided swearing?). I'm gonna kill you!" Joe picked up a chair and began to beat Pippin on the head repeatedly with it.  
  
"Ouch. Hey man. Ouch what are ya doing that for? Ouch." Pippin asked, "I mean like what is your problem?"  
  
"Uh, Joe I think Pippin will come with us." Sam said coming up behind Joe. "Pippin, come on." Sam said as Pippin took one look at him and began to laugh.  
  
"Fatty, fatty two by four can't get through the kitchen door!" Pippin sang the entire way out of the tavern. Frodo and Merry intercepted them.  
  
"Pippin, how much have you had to drink?" Frodo asked as Pippin began to sing the 8th round of the song.  
  
Pippin took one look at Frodo and began to laugh. "You've got a billow pad for hair!!"   
  
"See, he thinks everything is funny. I haven't a clue to what he did to himself." Merry said as he began to tell Frodo about what was happing to Pippin. While he was talking to Frodo and Sam the subject of their conversation walked away. Pippin kepted walking down the path until he spotted a familiar wagon filled with fireworks. Pippin grinned silly.  
  
"Merry? Where is Pippin?" Sam asked interrupting Merry. The three hobbits looked around for their stoned friend but had no luck in finding him.  
  
"We've got to find him before he does something really stupid." Merry said as they began to walk to Bag-End in hopes of finding Pippin. About half way to Bag-End Frodo remembered something.  
  
"Oh god! Gandalfs over with his fireworks! He said he would be out visiting the hobbits if I wasn't home!" Frodo said in fear.  
  
"You don't think.." Sam began and Merry went dead white.  
  
"He's gonna set off all of the fireworks!" Merry exclaimed. Almost like a curse there was a huge explosion and in the sky in funny shapes and designs the words 'Pippin was here' formed from the fireworks. The three hobbits looked at each other and broke into a dead run towards Bag-End. They reached Pippin at the same time Gandalf did.  
  
"Fool of a Took! What did you do?" Gandalf roared at the giggling hobbit. Pippin stopped giggling and stood there and just stared at Gandalf. "YOU COULD HAVE BEEN HURT. YOU COULD'VE HURT OHTERS! YOU NEVER MESS AROUND WITH WIZARDS BELONINGS! THOSE MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN FIREWORKS!"Gandalf yelled. Pippin just stood there with a dazed expression on his face.   
"ARE YOU LISTING?"   
  
Pippin jerked his head and looked at Gandalf like he just realized he was there. "Oh hi dude, wassup? You ain't been around here for a while. You should visit more often." Pippin said slurring his words just a bit (I know that's not one of the side affects, but this is my story and that's how its gonna be.)  
  
Gandalf just stood there not knowing what to say. Frodo stepped forward. "Gandalf, uh.. hi."  
  
"Oh hi brillow pad head." Pippin said to his cousin. Then he began to hum, he began to hum the Fatty Fatty 2X4 song.  
  
"Not that song, sir. Master Frodo, please shut him up." Sam said. Merry and Frodo grabbed Pippin by the arms and dragged him into the hobbit hole, followed closely by Gandalf and Sam. Once inside Pippin did the most Pippiny thing. He went to the kitchen.  
  
"Foodfoodfoodfoodfood." Pippin said over and over as he ate. The other three stood there with their mouths open as they watched the hobbit eat twice as much as he usually did. He was on his 8th helping when Gandalf stopped him.  
  
"I think you've had enough." He said trying to steer the hobbit away from food.  
  
"No I haven't found Mr. Apple yet." Pippin said.  
______________________________________________________________________________________  
  
  
here it is chapter two. I wrote this before school started in 20 minutes. This is how I am w/ only 6 some odd hours of sleep. I really do laugh at just about everything and anything. Oh by order and genus suggestion by one of my best friends, Abby, I'm gonna call this chapter Snap, Crackle, and Pot. If you like randomness read 'The Notebook' by Queens of Gondor, hilarious! Abby and my other best friend Nora wrote it so leave a nice review.   
  
~Blah 


	3. Siderman

I'm back, okay chapter three. Sounds like fun. Just to let you know, I don't have this story planned out, I kinda write it as I get ideas so it might be days or weeks for me to update this. I'm also moving this weekend (hopefully 'cause all that has happened is delays) and soon my computer will be disconnected so I'll have to leave you hanging. I'm using my school computer to type this so if there are any major mistakes (spelling wise) I'm sorry. Uh.. any thing else? Ummmmm. I don't think I left anything out. Oh yeah Mr. Apple is mine (and yup I talk to food and inanimate objects, they don't talk back though.) and everything else is Tolkens. Enjoy.  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Chapter 3  
Mr. Apple  
  
Gandalf looked at the hobbit. "Mr. Apple?" He asked.  
  
"Yeah he's my best bud. Do you know where he is?" Pippin asked as he began to hunt around the kitchen.  
  
Frodo leaned over to Merry "What is wrong with him? Even drunk he is much more intelligent then this." He whispered to his cousin.  
  
"I haven't a clue. He was normal earlier today but then when he arrived at the tavern he was well like this." Merry replied. "We've got to find out what happens to him during that time. Either that or go nuts."  
  
"I agree. I don't want to listen to 'Fatty Fatty two by four can't get through the kitchen' door everytime he looks at me." Sam said looking a little upset.  
  
"Don't worry Sam, this isn't the real Pippin. Someone did something to him." Frodo said trying to make his friend feel better. Gandalf ,who had given up on trying to tell the hobbit that apples don't talk, came over to the other three.   
  
"I'm going to go to Rivendale and see if Lord Elrond knows what to do. I will be back as soon as I can. Until then don't let him out of your sight." Gandalf looked at the hobbit who was looking through Frodo's apple bin. "And I'm going to leave before he finds 'Mr. Apple'."  
  
"Alright. Say hi to the elves for me." Frodo said. Gandalf nodded and left the hobbit hole. When Gandalf left the three remaining NORMAL hobbits looked at each other.  
  
"So what do we do now?" Merry asked. The other two shrugged their shoulders. Before they could answer Pippin gave an excited shout.  
  
"I've found him! I've found Mr.Apple." Pippin held up a red apple. Attached to its stem was a wilted green leaf, and on the bottom there was a bruise. "Frodo, Sam, Merry. Meet Mr. Apple, Mr. Apple meet Frodo, Sam and Merry."  
The three hobbits just stood there. It was a full minute until Sam said something. "I need a pint." Frodo and Merry nodded and Frodo went to get them something strong to drink. Pippin frowned at the reaction his friends gave Mr. Apple. Just because Mr. Apple was produce that didn't mean he didn't have feelings.  
  
"Don't worry Mr.Apple I think your nice." Pippin whispered to the apple cupped in his hands. Pippin walked into the living room. He sat down and took out another joint. While he smoked Pippin held a conversation with the apple. "Yeah I know that was so funny. But I didn't realize that you were at the party." Pippin paused (okay when I end the"" marks that means Mr. Apple is talking. You should be able to tell what I'm asking by the answers) "Oh you were on the buffet table, but I was at the buffet table for most of the party." "Yeah" "Oh right I did have 8 1/2 pints that time. I guess that would explain why I didn't notice you." As Pippin held his one sided conversation Merry and the others looked on in some fear.  
  
"I'm scared Frodo" Sam whispered "What if this is catchy? I don't want to be like this!"   
  
"Don't worry I don't think you can catch this." Frodo whispered back. They had turned their back on Pippin for just a moment but when they looked again he and his produce friend were gone.  
  
"Oh no." They said symotanously and they bolted out of the door.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
A dark figure stood outside of Bag-End and he had seen the entire ordeal. "My plan is working perfectly! Within no time stage two will begin and I'll have to move faster. They mustn't catch up with my lovely hobbit." He said and pulled out a notebook and began to quickly write.  
  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Okay I don't think this chapter was really funny but do you like the twist? Just wait until you find out who the mysterious character is. I personally like the idea I had. Remember flames and reviews are welcome and I love all who review.  
  
~Blah (my favorite word) 


	4. Blade

Sup, okay I would like to say one thing. I know I suck at spelling, I realize that. I am also well aware that spell check exists. I have a learning disability so that makes me unable to spell and I sometimes spell things so horribly that spell check cannot correct it. I would greatly appreciate it if you wouldn't comment on my spelling because I get insulted daily by my teachers about my inability to spell so that's all I have to say. Tolken owns all. I own Mr. Apple.  
  
On and read the story.  
  
  
Gandalf is in Rivendale  
  
Gandalf the Grey rode as fast as he could to the Elven City. ~I do not understand what could make Pippin that way. He was almost an entirely different person. Very unusual. I hope Elrond knows what is going on.~ Gandalf smiled as he came to the all familiar river. Within moments Gandalf was in Rivendale and looking for the Lord of Rivendale.  
  
When Gandalf reached the House of Elrond and elf came to take his horse. "Where may I find Lord Elrond?" Gandalf inquired.  
  
"He, sir, is in the library I believe." The elf replied as he led the horse to the stables.  
  
"Good." Gandalf said. He then set out to find his friend. It took him about five minuets to hunt down the elf-lord.   
  
"Ah, Gandalf how are you my good friend?" Elrond asked when Gandalf found him.   
  
"Not so good, old friend. I've got a dilemma and I need your help." Gandalf quickly explained the circumstances and Elrond had a hard time keeping a strait face.  
  
"And ah Pippin ahem is ahem looking for his friend named Mr. Apple." Elrond said trying really hard not to laugh.  
  
"Yes. I don't know what to make of it. Even after a couple of pints he's still got common sense, but now he doesn't even have that." Gandalf complained. He looked over and then noticed the Elf trying not to laugh. "You find this humorous?"  
  
"Uh, well yes. Pippin is a trickster and plays jokes, this could be one of his newest pranks." Elrond said getting up to get a drink.  
  
"He ate 8 helpings of food. That's unnatural even for a hobbit, even for one so obsessed with food such Pippin." Gandalf said. "Do you have any idea about what is wrong with him?"  
  
Elrond looked over at Gandalf. "No. I've never heard of symptoms like those. . . . .   
  
"well duh, that would ruin it if you knew." The figure in black said. He was writing in the notebook again.  
  
And I personally think it'll blow over." Elrond said as he finished up his drink.   
  
"Thank you. I'd better get back. I left Merry, Sam, and Frodo in charge of Pippin. Knowing them ,they've probily lost Pippin already." Gandalf said as he began to leave the room.   
  
"Good luck Gandalf." Elrond said. When Gandalf left Elrond burst out into hysterical laughter.  
  
###############################BACK WITH THE HOBBITS #################  
  
Frodo, Sam, and Merry managed to find Pippin who was asleep in a bush with Mr. Apple. "Why did ya go and disturb me man? I was just taken a snooze." Pippin said in a city tone of voice.  
  
"Will you stop that and start acting normally? Tonight before you came to the tavern, did you talk to anybody? See anything out of the ordinary?" Frodo asked as they pulled his cousin out of the bush.  
  
"If ya count a man dressed in black selling me joints then yeah I saw somethin' unusual." Pippin said lighting up a new joint. He noticed that his supply was low.   
  
"What is that?" Frodo asked.  
  
"A joint." Pippin replied. They started to walk back to Bag-End (don't worry Mr. Apple came too) when Pippin saw Farmer Maggots sickle and a newly painted barn. Pippin slowed down and the other three passed him. The non-stoned hobbits were discussing ways to keep Pippin in their sight. When Pippin realize that they weren't paying any attention what so ever to him, he slipped away into the shadows with his hand over Mr. Apple's 'mouth'. When they were passed Pippin put Mr. Apple into his pocket and picked up the sickle and got to work.  
  
"We could tie him up on a chair." Merry suggested.  
  
"Or you could keep a better watch on him." A soft voice said from the forest.   
  
"What? Who? And oh NO!" Sam said as he realized that Pippin ,yet again, pulled the slip on him.  
  
"I said you should keep a better eye on him. Pippin and his apple left you about 1/2 a mile back." Legolas Greenleaf said steppin onto the path. The blond elf looked around with a smile as he saw the hobbits talk rabidly about how they were gonna get their friend back. Legolas' smile vanished when he saw a dark figure move in the shadows. "Pippin is at the farm back there." Legolas pointed before fading into the forest again.  
  
"Thanks, what farm . . . " Sam began but then his eyes widened.  
  
"FARMER MAGGOT!" the three said at once and took off at a dead run.  
  
  
  
What is gonna happen? Well wait and find out remember tell me if you like, don't like, whatever. I'm writing as fast as possible because I want this story done so I can start another.   
Next up: PARANOIA: LOOKING OVER MY BACK, ITS LIKE A WHIRL WIND INSIDE OF MY HEAD . . . . . . (Linkin Park, Hybrid theory CD). Next chapter will be a song fic thing. I think.  
  
~BLAH 


	5. MIB

~Hi peoples!! Okay Tolken owns all except the Stranger, and Mr. Apple (I ate the original Mr. Apple last night.). I've got news on my moving and well my computer is being moved Monday and AOL is being re-put in a week later. AH WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITHOUT AOL!! * breaks down sobbing hysterical * ~Friend comes in~ Hi I'm gonna be speaking for Matrixchick for she is ah busy right now. On to the story.  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
~I'm looking over my shoulder,  
Its like a whirl wind inside of my head,  
Its like I can't stop what I'm feeling within  
Its like a face inside right beneath my skin (I did this off the top of my head so its not entirly accurate)~  
  
Chapter 5   
Paranoia   
  
  
Frodo, Sam, and Merry reached Farmer Maggots farm the same time that Pippin finished what he was doing. "Oh no. Farmer Maggot is going to kill you!" Sam said. Farmer Maggots freshly painted barn had been ruined. Pippin had caved the words 'Frodo was here' and outlined it in corn that he had gotten from the crops.  
  
"No he's not he's gonna kill Frodo!" Pippin said laughing. Suddenly he stopped laughing and he grabbed Mr. Apple. "Are you talking about me? I know you are! You all talk about me. I know it, don't deny it. I know that you're all talking about me. You don't want me around anymore, well, FINE! I don't need your help! I never have and I never will!" Pippin yelled as he threw Mr. Apple at Sam's head. With a satisfying 'splat' Mr. Apple exploded on Sam's head. Pippin turned on his heel and stalked off.  
  
"When I find that mysterous person that did this to Pippin I'm gonna kill him!" Frodo yelled.  
  
To their dismay the lights in Farmer Maggots hobbit hole came on. Frodo, Sam, and Merry looked at eachother and took off at a dead run. In the back round they heard Farmer Maggot screaming his head off.  
  
"You know what, *gasp * I'm gonna help you kill that mysterous man now." Sam panted. Being Sam, it took more effort to run then for the others.  
************************************************************************  
"Oh I am such a genus! I mean Frodo is gonna get his butt kicked and my lovely Pippin is stoned and I managed to bring Legolas (I HAD to bring Legolas into it.)into this." The mysterous person said. He stood up and turned around to relize that there was a really sharp looking arrow in his face. "Oh shit."  
  
"Who are you?" Legolas asked.  
************************************************************************  
  
Pippin opened the door to Bag-End and looked around. Pippin took the bag of joints (now only 2 were left) and put it on the table before he fell asleep on the coutch.   
  
--"You know that those joints are very addicting." A teen-age girl told the hobbit. She had long brown hair and brown eyes. "You should never have used them."  
Pippin looked up "But he sold them to me. Why would he do that if they are harmful?" He asked the strange girl.  
She smiled "Other then the sake of this story? To make money and to be mean. Just be thankful that you don't live in my world. She got up and began to fade away.   
"Wait! who are you?" Pippin called out to the fading figure.  
"A writter." Was the reply.---  
  
"Pip! Wake up. We caught the person who was doing this to you!" Merry called pulling Pippin out of his sleep.  
  
"What the hell do you fucking want!" Pippin snarled. He then relized that Gandal, and Legolas, were both holding onto the stranger that sold him the joints. "Hey you're the one I saw the other day!" Pippin exclaimed (For the sake of my story he's still gonna be under the influence.) "Who are you?"  
  
The stranger smiled. "I'm a writter." a female voice said from under the hood.  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
This is like going from humor to mysetry. Oh well. Like/Dislike please tell me! luv all who review and I HATE NORA. Read 'Don't Let Me get Me' by Pereodoc. Yeah I spelt the pen name wrong. Luv ya ^_~  
~Blah 


	6. Harry Potter

Disclaimer: I don't own nottin.  
  
Notes: I understand that my spelling absolutely sucks. Give me a break I had a disability that doesn't allow me to correct my spelling and spell check only does so much. Okay sorry this chapter took so long to come up but I did it. ^_^ Enjoy.  
  
  
  
HI PEOPLE! I re-wrote this chapter for all you people out there and before you leave please, leave a sacrifice for our Pen and keyboard gods. Thank you.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"What is a writer?" Pippin asked his eyes glassy from the pot.  
  
"What is a writer?" The girl fumed as she stood between Gandalf and Legolas. "HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE GREATEST CAREER AND HERO'S OF MODERN TIME! THE PEN AND KEYBOARD GODS DEMAND A SACRIFICE!" She screamed before launching herself at the incredibly stupid hobbit.  
  
Just before she reached her target another girl appeared and grabbed the writer by the ankle. "Ash, you can't kill Pippin. You need him." Girl #2 said.  
  
"But why? He dissed us poor people whom use valuable time to write these fanfics to entertain people for reviews? I mean its bad enough when we get flamed by our readers but to be dissed by our own characters?" Ash wined. "Please can I kill him Nora?"  
  
"No." Another girl appeared behind Legolas. "I don't want to have to cry during your fanfics too. It was bad enough when Nora did it." Abby said. When she walked around Legolas she pinched his butt.  
  
"HEY!!!!!!" Ash said when Legolas jumped. "Do I have to do that to Aragorn?"  
  
"Woah! Before a catfight breaks out, you have a story to get to. Okay, good now we're leaving." Nora said before the two other girls de-materialized.  
  
Sam stood with his mouth open along with Frodo, Merry, Pippin, and Gandalf. (Legolas was busy rubbing his sore behind). "Uh, answers please." Gandalf managed to croak out.  
  
"Okay, 1) I'm an author and you're in my story, 2) whatever I say goes, 3) this is a humor story so that's why everything is so crazy, 4) you want proof so okay." Ash said. A laptop appeared out of nowhere. She typed the words ~Legolas is naked~.  
  
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Legolas screamed. He tried to lamely cover himself up. Ash grinned.  
  
"ASHLEY!!!" Nora's disembodied voice screamed from nowhere. "If you're going to have fun do the same to Frodo." Ashley grinned in an evil like manner.  
  
"We believe you! We believe you!" Gandalf explained in surrender. "Just explain why you're doing this and how to fix up Pippin."  
  
Ash frowned but a second later Legolas was fully clothed (Damn). "I'm doing this because I've got nothing better to do with my time and you can't fix Pippin because I'm in control here and that would ruin my fun." The laptop appeared again but before Ash could do anymore funniness an arrow destroyed the monitor.  
  
"FIX US AND GO AWAY!" The normally calm elf growled. Ash held up her hands and Pippin's eyes were back to normal and his voice wasn't slurred.  
  
"I Surrender. Okay before I leave I've got two gifts to give. 1) as song. 'Fatty Fatty two by four cant get through the bathroom door so he did it on the flour.' And 2) pippin have the most addicting drug in the entire world. SUGAR. Eat and enjoy. I'll be keeping an eye on you. Especially you." The last comment was directed at the fuming elf. Ash disappeared.  
  
Pippin got an evil grin on his face. "Fatty fatty two by four can't get through the bathroom door!"  
  
Sam's eyes welled up with tears. "MR.FRODO! tell them to stop being mean to me!!!" He said before sobbing into Frodo's shoulder.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Okay peoples just one more chapter and then we're done. Anywho Nora and Abby are my best friends. And the two other story's I referred to are 'Don't Let Me Get Me' by Peradoc (Nora) and "The Notebook" by Queens of Gondor (co-written by Abby). You better leave nice reviews for them or else you're gonna come to my geometry class and face the wrath of my teacher (pretend like you give a damn). OR you will face me at midnight after sugar and ice cream. BEWARE THE HYPER AUTHOR. Oh and read A poem to a French fry but ElementalGoddess. Pointless! But funny! O.o 


	7. The Two Towers {so i haven't seen it yet...

Disclamer: if you don't know by now seek help.  
  
Note: THIS IS IT! Okay this is the last chapter of my story!!!! I'm sorry to say but it is. I've got two others to continue and I don't want to worry about this one. To all you people who are reading 'Jade teaches Jackie to Roller Blade' well chapter two is on its way! And I'd like to thank all of my readers and well shall we continue. And to clarify and confusion what-so- ever, I'm Ash. My name is Ashley but Nora has this really bad habbit of calling me Ash witch I really and truly hate!!!!!!! Okay I'm done.  
  
I've re-done this chapter too! Eeeeeeeeeeeeee  
  
^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^ _^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^^_^  
  
"Oh dear, you gave him sugar!" Nora said as she watched Ashley swallow and another container of sugar sprinkles. The poor sprinkles never had a chance.  
  
She giggled again "Yup." Ashley snorted into laughter.  
  
"We're in the giggling phase. This will be amusing." Abby said as her friend dissolved into mindless giggles and babbles.  
  
"FRENCH FRY!!"  
  
----------------------------------------Back to middle Earth---------------- -----------------------------------------  
  
"Fatty fatty two by four cant get through the bathroom door so he did it on the floor. Fatty fatty two by four cant get through the bathroom door so he did it on the floor." Pippin sang to Sam who was sobbing hysterically into Frodo's shoulder. Frodo to say the least did not look happy at having his shirt soaking wet.  
  
"He's been at it for 11 hours and 12 minuets." Legolas said to Gimli in a dull voice.  
  
"What is in that bag?" Gimli asked in the same kind of voice.  
  
"Sugar." Merry replied looking exhauseted.  
  
"fatty fatty two by four cant get through the bathroom. . . . . . ..  
  
  
  
  
  
"I still don't get how you can make them do that?" Nora said as soon as they calmed down.  
  
"Like this."  
  
  
  
(buddy bear theme song comes on)  
  
We are the buddy bears,  
  
We always get along,  
  
  
  
"See" Ashley said.  
  
"Lemmie try!" Abby said said reaching over and grabbed the keyboard.  
  
It's the one eyed one horned flying purple people eater,  
  
Its the one eyed one horned flying purple people eater,  
  
It sure looks strange to me,  
  
Purple people?  
  
"My turn!" Nora exclaimed.  
  
  
  
Craling in my skin,  
  
These wounds they do not heal,  
  
Fear is how I fall,  
  
Confusing what is real!  
  
There is something inside me that cralls benight the surfice,  
  
Confusing . . .  
  
  
  
"Hey, hey this is my story! Geeze we'd better wrap this up." Ash said.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
So how did you like? This is it folks no more but hey reviews and flames are all welcome. ^_^  
  
Luv ya'll  
  
  
  
~END  
  
::snort:: SUGAR 


End file.
